🔗 Share this article

“Well, the situation is pretty dire here. Our recommendation is all of our clients to commit their entire holdings into preserved goods and firearms.” This nugget of wise counsel comes from the Brain Gremlin – a lab-engineered, speaking, spectacled member of the oozy monster mob that infests Manhattan’s high-tech Clamp Tower skyscraper in helmer Joe Dante’s unhinged continuation Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Superficially, it’s simply an investment tip from one monster to another. But, oddly enough, it’s also pretty solid life advice. Truly, hear me out.

When things go bad, the worst thing you can do is take things too seriously. The Brain Gremlin understands this. Indeed, a large portion of the toothy monsters that populate Dante’s unrestrained 1990 movie (debateably his greatest) possess the same knowing, self-referential funny bone regarding the indistinct border separating everyday life and unadulterated chaos. It’s a single component of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that ensures my return – and the older I get, it’s the message that resonates the most.

An Early Life Obsession

Of course, my fondness for this movie wasn’t born on such an philosophical plane. As a child, we possessed merely a few battered VHS tapes at home. Among them were Gremlins and its sequel, the latter housed in a bulky previously-rented case probably bought from an independent video outlet and featuring grimacing beasts on its worn-out artwork. I was immediately enamoured and these films quickly proceeded lodging themselves inside my tiny, impressionable mind. After that point, they became an practically routine part of my early years entertainment regimen.

Dante’s first film commonly garners all the plaudits, thanks mostly because of its status as a partly frightening holiday classic – and let me be clear, I’ve watched Gremlins an incalculable number of times. Nevertheless, its sequel infrequently obtains the same level of lofty appreciation, which feels unjust. As a kid, I’d always seize the chance to watch Gremlins 2. During long summer holidays, I’d seclude myself indoors and pop it in. When I got my own TV-VHS combo unit, it stayed in constant rotation in my bedroom. With repetition, it became deeply rooted in my psyche. If my parents observed this fixation, they didn’t seem to mind.

Deeper Delights and Pop-Culture Nuggets

As I grew, new revelations enriched repeat viewings, amplifying the pleasure of watching small emerald creatures happily vandalize a New York high-rise. I learned the future-focused real estate tycoon and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was modeled closely on the eventual commander-in-chief Donald Trump, with his ginger staff member Marla (Haviland Morris) alluding to his former spouse Marla Maples. Luckily, Clamp possesses greater compassion than his genuine article inspiration.

The “doomsday” video Clamp plays during the height of creature carnage? I discovered it was based on a actual “Doomsday” video commissioned by the CNN boss Ted Turner should the world actually met its demise. I noticed how Dante went out of his way to film different iterations of a self-aware scene where Gremlins hijack the very film you’re watching. A version for theaters, another for home video and television, each offering a winking bit of self-referential entertainment sorcery before the term was even a thing.

An Enduring Legacy

While it was creature designer Rick Baker’s wonderfully grotesque creatures that captured my attention as a child, this deeper gold maintained my fascination as an adult. Ultimately, I even spoke to Dante about it myself and he had no hesitation informing me he made the movie with the direct intention of ridiculing those who loved its absurd-yet-genuine predecessor and wanted more. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he cheerfully disclosed. This cartoonish insubordination and resolve to not take his sequel as gravely as his Warner Bros bosses obviously desired, only increased my affection for it.

When I experienced a unexpected loss in the family not long ago, I was taken aback to discover that, during my deepest grief, all I wanted to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Weird, right? Perhaps not. The comforting familiarity it offered was necessary to weaken my mind’s sadness sludge – but the stuff it had bestowed upon me as an adult were just as useful.

Like Gremlins tearing apart a genetics laboratory, there’s particular aspects in life you just can’t control. Dante is aware of it. The Brain Gremlin shares this wisdom. Sometimes, you have to follow their example: welcome the pandemonium, commit your entire being into tinned provisions and hunting rifles and try not to view the world with undue solemnity.

It’s strong life advice from a most improbable origin – and it’s the reason Gremlins 2: The New Batch will eternally stand as my go-to cinematic solace.